february - 2025

[ feb. 18, 2025 ] 3:17 pm

mood: reflective
watching: traitors uk s2
playing: WoW SOD
drinking: white mocha
listening: abracadabra - gaga

i've become insufferable to myself. you know, which is fine and expected. too much talking. i need to watch more movies with my headphones on. make a little craft. i've been collaging a lot more. i'm hoping to get my scanner working again and get em up on here.

i've been committing to a lot of decluttering and it feels like molting, lol. it's a good feeling. especially when i get to sell some of my unwanted books, feels like i'm contributing to an old school trade. i don't know. i'm finally stretching out into the space around me.

november

[ nov. 15, 2024 ] 11:04 am

mood: excited

not much happening, unbelievable that we're halfway through november already. here's my halloween costume. blood sweat tears etc went into this. i sliced my finger good to get this thing together in time for the big day. i regret not getting any pictures of myself from the party but that's ok lol.

october

[ oct. 21, 2024 ] 12:43 pm

mood: bummed

i have some overwhelming knowing-feeling lately that i've moved myself to the background of my own life. i think i was taught to care too much about the things around me, to be critical of myself and others. to always be on and angry. some sort of coping that i don't need to use anymore. i'm finally getting back on my feet after sitting hunched in the dark for far too long. i feel like i'm been hibernating, you know, darkly and lazily but still conserving some sort of small ball of energy anyway. trying to getting it out now. i've been making a lot of stamps and applying for custodial jobs. it would be nice to have small shifts of cleaning. i'm doing my best to update all the pages of the site today, i've neglected it too long. it's just that it's all so unbalanced for me, it's hard for me to juggle all the code pages vs the actual pages. maybe unbalanced isn't the right word but i don't care to change it. my brain feels small lol

september

[ sept. 26, 2024 ] 5:03 pm

mood:

ok i swear to god i'm not kidding when i say that the time of the last entry and the time of this one are both exactly 5:03 pm lol. kinda of crazy. or maybe i'm just an evening blogger. anyway..

i spent a lot of yesterday and today suffering (period) but i managed to carve a couple block printing stamps !! i'm really proud with how they turned out, i got a little kit at michael's that came with two chisels and a sheet of rubber. of course my first tries were a bug and gir. here they are:

^ drag and drop! ^

i'm gonna have to go pick up some more rubber soon, or just grab some erasers from the dollar store. it's a really addicting craft lol and i've always loved how they turned out. i also !! after seeing a reel, made a 'sketchbook' out of paper bags! i just glued the flaps shut and then glued them all together, it's a really good multi-purpose book to create in. the stamps look really good on my target pages~ i'll upload some pics of the book later cuz i'm really proud of how that turned out too. it feels crazy cool to make art material out of garbage, you know?

unrelated, i feel like i'm sort of finally exiting my swamp rat phase. i cut my mullet off and got it pretty blunt right under my ears. feels weird but also at this point my hair is so shapeless and malleable i don't care what happens with it. i haven't dyed it in a few months and there's a lot of natural growth coming in, i forgot how dark my hair is naturally. it's gonna be cool to see it grow out.

[ sept. 10, 2024 ] 5:03 pm

can someone tell me how it's four days away from my birthday already? i'm excited for fall but i'm also feeling a little weird about turning 29, lol. at least i got my new site layout in order before the weekend! really stoked on it all so far, but i still need to do some work on a couple specific pages. the theme just sort of came out of nowhere. i have a reverence for the movie the ring and wanted to practice my graphic design, do a sort of collage thing and relearn some GIMP. it just sort of struck me out of nowhere, and i've really been feeling the color teal lately.. anyway

a couple days ago i found a struggling dragonfly on the sidewalk, a really big one. i took it inside with me and brought it onto my porch to stay safe from birds & the wind. someone on reddit told me that she was a green darner dragonfly, common in the midwest. apparently they're so big that researchers are able to strap trackers onto them to track their paths. i believe it, the one i found was very large. i was staring at her most of the day. unfortunately she blew out of my hands after a few hours of hanging out on my porch and i couldn't find her in the bushes outside my apartment :'( it's ok though, i'm glad i got to have some time with her. here are some pics:

^ drag and drop! ^

my birthday is this saturday. i'm seeing last podcast on the left with my sister !! it should be a lot of fun but travelling into the city always makes me nervous. and i haven't really hung out with my sister for quite a while. we have a big age difference so that's just how it's always been, yknow. but we're very similiar so i think it'll be a real good time ;u;